A Spectre is haunting Bikini Bottom
by BloodRedFlag
Summary: The spectre of communism. All the powers of the Undersea have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre. King and Dolphin, Lord Royal Highness and Triton, Rock Bottom Radicals and New Kelp Police Spies.
1. Chapter 1: A Brewing Storm

"Not a picket fence SpongeBob, picket sign".

Squidward rolled his eyes, he knew that this would be difficult. If SpongeBob couldn't figure this simple task, how would they ever get Krabs to give them what they deserved?

"SpongeBob, make yourself useful; go get a book from the library about labour organizing".

"Aye aye, Squidward"

"Heh, that ought to keep him busy, our library would never stock anything other than trashy magazines", Squidward muttered to himself, "now to get things done"

Squidward looked over the book SpongeBob had given him with surprise. He knew what communism was, obviously, but never had he seriously considered it, on its own terms. It seemed so obvious the way that it was lain out here. Without him manning the cash register, the Krusty Krab would collapse. Even SpongeBob, as annoying as he is, had an irreplaceable function. What did Krabs do? Count money? Listen to the radio and polish his navy momentos? He and SpongeBob should be the ones who benefit from their labour. Squidward resolved that Bikini Bottom would be a socialist state if it killed him.

Squidward looked over his party. They were fairly ragtag but they would do. Himself, SpongeBob, Patrick, and a handful of other fish. Squidward took the floor and cleared his throat.

"Gentle labourers of Bikini Bottom! Now is the time for action!" He stated forcefully. "The rule of corporate corruption is coming to an end! Today we take a stand! We come together today, not as disparate bunch of dreamers, but as a united front for the liberation of all! The riches and power held by the elites represent nothing but what they've stolen from us! They have nothing but what we produce, and if we refuse to continue labouring under these circumstances, we can make the world stop!", the crowd grew excited through this speech and now were reaching fever pitch. "Tonight, we take these flyers and proclaim a general strike!" The crowd cheered. Squidward thought to himself, if only they knew what he would be doing tonight...

Dressed in a long coat, Squidward walked determinedly down the street. He found an empty stretch of road and flipped out his shell phone. "Help, police? I need assistance on Conch Street, come quickly". Squidward smiled, and waited. It didn't take long for a squad car to come into view. Squidward stuck his arm beneath his jacket and clutched his side, and loped down the street as if he was injured. "Help! I've been stabbed". He fell to the ground, careful to fall on his right side. The cops rushed over to his side and turned him over. The moment they did, Squidward's arm flashed out with the kitchen knife he had had under his jacket and slashed the throat of the closest cop. "Nancy!" Screamed the other cop, reaching for his gun, but Squidward was already on him.


	2. Chapter 2: Insurgency

Fred was nervous. He turned the pistol over in his hands, waiting for his time to strike. The door opened, the kelp barely rustled as Fred took his shot, the chief of police collapsed and Fred withdrew through the underbrush. He walked briskly away, glancing back as he heard the growling of worms. He hurried down an alley, shaking slightly. He started running when he heard the sirens closing in. He turned around with the pistol drawn. Bullets whizzed in both directions, but soon a cry was heard...

"MY LEG!"

SpongeBob and Patrick sat in the middle of Depot 3, the old Krusty Krab. It was unfortunate that Mr Krabs hadn't joined the people's movement, but Squidward said he was being dealt with. Now they were in charge of feeding the hungry people of Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob never knew there were so many people who h ad gone without food.

"It's a good thing Squidward had us rise up against the oppressor, huh SpongeBob?" Said Patrick

"It's a good thing that WE rose up against the oppressor, Patrick. Remember what Squidward said about Great Man Theory"

"Oh yeah"

SpongeBob thought about everything Squidward had taught them. It was still amazing everything that they never knew. SpongeBob flipped patties as he thought about how people were lined up around the block for food. At first he asked Squidward if such long lines meant something had gone wrong, but Squidward assured him that the important thing was that they all got to eat now.

"The length of the ration line shows only the failure of the capitalists. Every person in that line is someone we fed who they couldn't. Insinuating that this is somehow a bad thing is nothing but enemy propaganda"

SpongeBob nodded to himself. Squidward was so smart

Sandy watered the coral field that she had been assigned. She had been here since the revolution. Inferno Island. She heard Mr. Krabs yelp, he must have hurt his back again.

The Warden's voice boomed, "Krabs! It is too early in the morning for me to want to chew your head off! Get to work!"

Sandy shook her head. She pulled weeds from the coral field until the bell rang that marked the beginning of re-education period. The prisoners lined up and filed into a large classroom. The Warden cleared his throat

"We will start, as always, with a criticism and self-criticism session. Sheldon Plankton?"

Plankton stood up, "my criticism is of Eugene Krabs. He doesn't work as hard as the rest of us, likely because he hasn't had to work in a long time. My self-criticism is that I feel that I'm not learning the true principles of Marxism as quickly as I could be, I'll have to make a concerted effort towards improving."

"Very good. I'm glad one of you is taking their education seriously. Sandy Cheeks?"

"My criticism is of YOU, you totalitarian freak! Yer as crooked as a sidewinder on his fifth tequila! My self-criticism is that I haven't escaped yet."

The Warden looked over his sunglasses at her menacingly. "Sounds like an flight risk. Oh well. A few days in the hole never hurt anybody"

Plankton laughed silently to himself. The squirrel was supposed to be smart. Why rock the boat? It's not like it was actually that bad here; the squirrel would know that if she had ever been to jail before. Prison labour is nothing new, and the communists actually got rid of the worst horrors of Inferno Island. The ridiculous civics class was new, but easy to skate through. Obviously Plankton couldn't expect anyone to be as smart as himself, but he at least had some respect for Ms. Cheeks before that display of moral outrage at nothing. Any sensible person would just pretend to take the re-education to heart and get out at the end of their sentence. Heck, act fanatical enough and you might get a cushy position in the new government.

That's actually not a half bad idea come to think of it...


	3. Chapter 3: Growth

Nothing moved in the jungle.

The brush was still as the fireteam snuck silently. The team leader peered through at the fortified compound. He motioned for his men to go. They hurried off to get into position.

The team leader waited.

One...

Two...

Three.

The fish fired a rocket at the wall. It crumbled and the team leader immediately began providing high angle fire with his grenade launcher.

The enemy was pinned down. Now to move in and extract the target.

The men poured in, bullets whizzed. A fish in a Polo and glasses was struck by stray fire. His screams filled the air

The team moved quickly. Smoke and blood was everywhere. The team kicked in the door

"Freeze!"

The fish standing in the centre of the room slowly raised his hands without turning around.

He was roughly pushed to his knees and handcuffed.

"Howard Blandy, you're under arrest on the orders of Comrade Tentacles"

Blandy merely smiled bitterly.

Fred lay in his cell. His wounds were healed, but a dull ache remained. His head felt worse than anything. A sickly-sweet smell hung in the air

"How long has it been?" A voice said from outside the cell.

"Two weeks" said another.

The cell had no windows, but now Fred had a timeframe. Fred was a little surprised how important it felt, but he felt so disoriented not knowing when it was night or day that he latched on to any information he could.

Of course, he hadn't begun immediately. It might have been a day or a year before those two weeks started.

The two men entered the cell. Fred didn't move. He couldn't. A funnel was pushed into his mouth.

He spit it out.

It was pushed back in.

He spit it out again.

"Piece of shit" mumbled one of the men, "just die then".

The other man asked "if he croaks, how many would that make?"

"He'd be the third"

From the other cell, two inmates mumbled to each other. They made a plan.

Squidward looked over the balcony at the gathered crowd. At first many of the fish he had recruited didn't believe it was possible; the recruitment had only begun on a mass scale after the first institutions had been erected.

He thought over all he had achieved. He knew that there was so much more he had to do.

But still.

From the first free food program, to the housing reclamation, to the armed patrols, and now progress was finally being made.

Squidward cleared his throat and began to speak to the crowd.


End file.
